


belonging

by irrationalqueer



Series: advent 2020 [7]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:34:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27938162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irrationalqueer/pseuds/irrationalqueer
Summary: It’s always felt right with Dan, but here, surrounded by so many of the people Phil loves, it feels like all of the pieces of his life are finally matching up.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Series: advent 2020 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2035507
Comments: 18
Kudos: 53





	belonging

The only lights left on are those on the tree and the ones Phil forced Dan to wrap around the banister of the stairs. It’s pleasantly warm and they're sat on the floor of the lounge together, legs overlapping, cupping mugs of mulled wine between their hands as they listen to the conversation around them. They’ve been here for a while; Dan had dragged a couple of throw pillows down for Phil’s back a few hours ago when it seemed like everyone else had settled into their various spots and they haven’t really moved since. It’s comfortable here on the carpet; the heat from the fireplace just barely reaches Phil but is too far away to make Dan too warm, and, well. They’d bought the super-plush rug for a reason. 

Phil’s dad and Dan’s brother are sat on one couch with a cookbook in between them discussing some vegan recipe or another that Phil’s dad has apparently been wanting to try. Dan’s nana is dozing lightly in a chair by the fire with Colin at her feet; she’d declined Dan’s suggestion to go lay down and he’d thrown his hands up laughing, leading her to the comfiest chair in the room instead and bringing her tea. It’s sweet, Phil thinks; none of the family is particularly afraid to poke fun at each other, but Dan still dotes on his nan and Kath still served them biscuits at their own breakfast bar earlier. Nobody changes that much, he guesses, even at the holidays. 

Cornelia is reclining in the other chair by the fire, Martyn sitting on the floor on another cushion and rubbing her feet gently as she smiles, a hand resting gently on her stomach. They’ve been quiet most of the day, happily in their own little bubble; Phil would be envious if he wasn’t so incredibly happy. Kath and Karen are curled up on either side of the other small sofa, faces a little bit red from their second (third?) mugs of wine. They were politely chatting about the film they’d all watched together earlier, but now they seem to be whispering about something, exchanging wry glances and peering over at Dan and Phil every few minutes. Phil’s not going to dwell on that much and instead just be grateful that they’re becoming friends, even if it’s at his expense. They hadn’t expected people to split up the way they had, families entwining even more than they ever have before. But perhaps it’s the benefit of a shared space that doesn’t belong to any of them except Dan and Phil themselves. Neutral territory, maybe, making everyone a little more comfortable. 

There’s music in the background, and Dan’s pressing his shoulder firmly into Phil’s, leaning on him drowsily but not actually sleeping. He’s been neurotically cleaning and scouring the internet for recipes and he doesn’t actually sleep much anyway, even when he’s not frantically planning a holiday get together. The house is new and the rings are new and the way their families are coming together is new; there’s a comfort there that didn’t exist before, on the few occasions they’ve all been able to get together. Dan just desperately wants it to stick, and Phil loves that - family’s always been important to Phil in a way that Dan seemed confused by, but as they’ve grown older and more open, Dan seems greedy for it. He’s taken so many steps to be himself where other people can see, and Phil is so proud of him for it.

And it’s hard to deny that the day was a success, looking around at everybody now, and it’s a combination of Dan’s attention to detail and Phil’s general anxiety that has made it so perfect. They’d still been in the process of unpacking and decorating and putting the finishing touches on the house when they’d decided to host everybody for the holiday. Staying together for the first time felt right - Phil couldn’t imagine having to choose between being with Dan and being with his family one more time, and Dan’s relationship with his own family was too fragile to risk the consequences of not being with them. Dan had made lists, endless lists that he’d then ignored while they scrambled to get everything done in time, and Phil had done a lot of smiling and nodding and private panicking about the flights and taxis and whether some of their family was healthy enough to make the trip. And in the end, they’re here, in the home that they’ve made together for themselves, and they’re warm and full of good food and drinks and it just feels right. It’s always felt right with Dan, but here, surrounded by so many of the people Phil loves, it feels like all of the pieces of his life are finally matching up.

Phil squeezes Dan’s hand, smiling when he leans his head on Phil’s shoulder. The evening is winding down anyway, and he can’t imagine any of them are going to last much longer. The music is low and calm and the fire is cracking quietly. Dan deserves to rest, but Phil thinks he’ll bask in this a little longer.

**Author's Note:**

> an anon on tumblr prompted dnp spending christmas with their families. ty keelin for talking me through it!
> 
> on tumblr @ irrationalqueer


End file.
